I Am Establishing A Position On The Internet

futuresoon @ 2013-05-23T10:09:00

2013-05-23T17:09:55Z

oh man I got an actual cease-and-desist email from Comcast for torrenting last week's Game of Thrones

...so I'm just gonna switch to DDL, which doesn't have much of a history with that. It'll take a lot longer, but it's hard to make a vid when you're missing the last two tumultuous episodes.

(The twist here is that we actually have HBO now. I've been downloading the new episodes for 1) vidding and 2) um, watching an hour or so before it starts here, because my dad likes to use the TV for a long time after dinner so I wouldn't be able to look at tumblr until god knows. I realize that this is basically the most impatient thing ever, but. Well, the vidding reason is valid, anyway.)

futuresoon @ 2013-04-24T17:18:00

2013-04-25T00:18:25Z

AAAAHHHHHH MONSTER MINISERIES BY GUILLERMO DEL TORO ON HBO AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

futuresoon @ 2013-03-23T10:58:00

2013-03-23T17:58:16Z

I do not often speak of the Super Dangan Ronpa 2 let's play, but the latest update was VERY DISTRESSING

and I thought I'd just get that out there.

futuresoon @ 2013-03-22T13:56:00

2013-03-22T20:56:21Z

So the Game of Thrones Seattle premiere was a thing! And here is what happened!

We had to wait in line outside for a little bit; I measure lines in comparison to Comic-Con, so it was nothing, really. The screening was at Cinerama, a big single-screen theater that I’ve only been to twice before but I think is kind of a thing? It has an area where the press took photos of the cast, and many were the people standing outside craning their necks to get a look at it through the windows. The actors in attendance were Maisie Williams, Sophie Turner, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Kit Harington, Rose Leslie, John Bradley, and Natalie Dormer, who is apparently blonde, it was weird as hell.

Also Maisie Williams has cleavage. I—I’m not sure I’m comfortable with this.

We grabbed gift bags in the lobby, wistfully glanced towards the blocked-off photo area, and went into the screening room, where we got to wait for half an hour. It was a comfortable half-hour, though; a DJ was playing, the screen was showing live (silent) footage from the photo area plus an ongoing run of tweets carefully selected by the overlords—apparently the official GOT twitter was running “name the video games a GOT character would play”, “what would GOT characters search for on Bing”, and “what would be on a GOT character’s wishlist”. Some of the answers were very funny, and as such I have either forgotten them or cannot replicate them properly. Except “Stannis would play solitaire”. Aww, baby.

A honcho from HBO said some things, then the creators said some things and introduced the cast members. Apparently calling Maisie Williams “cute” is a bad idea. Also other Seattle-area folks will probably share the audience’s amusement when they introduced Rose Leslie as “our own wild ginger”. (Trust me, it’s funny.)

And then there was the episode! I don’t actually have a whole lot to say about it; they condensed some things, they added some things, they rearranged some things. It looks like some of Sansa’s plotline in ACOK is getting transplanted into season three, albeit with a noticeable difference. There wasn’t any Arya, Bran, Theon, or Jaime + Brienne, so don’t get your hopes up for them. Daenerys’ outfit is very pretty. Some of the cast credits in the opening were interestingly rearranged—Kit Harington and Richard Madden were both before Michelle Fairley, and Kit was actually like third or fourth or something, it was weird. He did have much more screentime than Michelle, though, so maybe that’s it?

The after-party was held in the party area of the Experience Music Project/Science Fiction Museum. Apparently the cast were given a tour of the exhibits and loved it.The cast was not in the main area of the party, alas; they were hidden away in the secret floor for special people, probably for reasons of exhaustion. Us plebs had to content ourselves with a bunch of classy free food. Seriously, there was a huge bowl of artfully-arranged gumbo. Servers kept bringing by platters to refill it.

A smaller replica of the Iron Throne was available for people to sit on it and have their pictures taken; I didn’t go for it because the line was long and I was tired, but everyone seemed to be having fun. One person put a stuffed otter on it.

And that was it! Good episode, good food, free chocolate in the gift bags. Shame there wasn’t any opportunity to actually interact with the cast, but hey, I probably would have been terrified to try anyway.

futuresoon @ 2013-03-21T11:31:00

2013-03-21T18:31:38Z

I'm trying to think of a funny way to talk about how I'm going to be wearing an eyepatch in a theater full of Microsoft employees watching Star Trek Into Darkness on opening day.

But let's be real, the facts are pretty much all that's needed.

futuresoon @ 2013-03-20T13:36:00

2013-03-20T20:37:02Z

I don't suppose any of you people are tax-filing Americans who have lost their W-2s and really want to use the website that lets you do magic to get a new one but isn't working for some reason and don't want to have to call your former employer about it because you don't like calling people? And have advice about this?

I mean, I know this is a very specific problem, but hey, you never know.

futuresoon @ 2013-03-10T14:49:00

2013-03-10T21:49:25Z

oh so incidentally if you are a brienne/jaime fan who has resigned yourself to knowing that it won’t end well in the canon and is not opposed to modern aus then

would you like an au where brienne makes gourmet cupcakes for a bakery and jaime is a corporate heir and they become boxing buddies and bffs and then feelings

don’t lie you know you would

or maybe you wouldn’t i don’t know but anyway that’s a thing that exists and it’s great and i love it and maybe you will too

that’s all

futuresoon @ 2013-03-08T16:07:00

2013-03-09T00:07:28Z

man i wish i actually had any game of thrones vid ideas

because i found a source where the files are super-high-quality

and after having struggled through mcu aspect ratios to make disappointingly lower-end video

this is goddamn beautiful

but no i am so far only collecting these in the vague hope that maybe someday i'll find a use for them

someday

futuresoon @ 2013-03-05T10:09:00

2013-03-05T18:09:12Z

this is the kind of thing where i would say "why did i spend all my time on this when i could have been doing other things", except...i have no other things...? so it is totally justifiable that i spent so much time on this right

anyway that's a roundabout way of saying HERE IS A BUNCH OF PICTURES AND STUFF ABOUT GAME OF THRONES maybe you want to look at it if you are curious or if you already know all this stuff and wouldn't mind seeing it summarized in a witty manner

so, game of thrones! it is a show, but it is also a series of books, whoa. the books are called a song of ice and fire, hereby referred to as "the books", and the show is just called "game of thrones" because that is the title of the first book:

also lbr the best title in the series, i mean look at the others:

admittedly i do like "a feast for crows" but there aren't any particular amounts of battlefield corpses in that one so i don't know why it's called that

the others are pretty generic and don't really say anything about the contents

but anyway

mostly this is going to be about the show, because the show is the thing that can be screencapped. i will mention the books sometimes! but not very much the ones that take place after the second book/second season, because spoilers.

here is a promotional picture for the show that says basically nothing:

yup that's a sword and some faraway crows and blackness i bet those things are in there

so here's some actual stuff

there is a place called westeros, it has seven kingdoms and also there are some free cities and some other stuff

here is part of a map

that's westeros

here's the other part of the map

that's the part that isn't westeros

the seven kingdoms are ruled by one king who lives in a place called king's landing

the people who are not in the seven kingdoms have their own thing, it varies from place to place

mostly the show has only covered a few parts of the seven kingdoms and not a lot of the free cities, but the books do more so presumably the next seasons of the show will follow suit

the special thing about westeros is that it doesn't really believe in spring-summer-fall-winter. well, it kind of does! spring and fall are mentioned as existing, and right now things are currently in fall. but spring and fall do not last very long, because they are dominated by either a hell-ass long winter or a hell-ass long summer. i mean, the most recent summer was nine years long. pretty cool right?

well not when the long-ass winters come

and you may have heard this particular line a lot, because it is pretty cool

winter is coming

things are going to get fucked up good and everyone knows it but is trying not to think about it too hard

but the most recent summer was pretty peaceful, which was helped by a rebellion having deposed the previous line of crazy royalty, the targaryens. no seriously they were pretty dang crazy. well not all of them! but uh that did not really matter so much, and as far as everyone knows only two targaryens escaped the slaughter. we will talk about them later.

right now the realm is ruled by the baratheons, who are not crazy. good king robert may not be very sensible, but he's way better than the mad king aerys targaryen, so as long as he rules things are gonna be okay, right?

think about that phrasing for a second

yeah

let's talk about characters

this dude is eddard stark, he is almost always called ned and he is sort of the main character i mean he gets top billing in the show that's gotta mean something right

he is the lord of a place called winterfell! it's up in the north, so it's all cold and shit, and its people are known for being hardcore because dude they live in a place that is always cold and shit while everyone else gets nice weather sometimes

ned is super-honorable like i mean damn. way back before the story starts, he was a major player in the rebellion that overthrew the targaryens, and he's still kind of conflicted by this because killing kings is like...really bad...? even when they have burned your father and brother alive and had your sister raped and murdered...? when i said ned stark is honorable i meant he is seriously fucking honorable okay

anyway when that was all over and his buddy robert whom we will get to later was crowned king ned went back to winterfell and settled in to be peaceful and have lots of kids with his wife:

catelyn stark née tully. as you may have guessed she is not from winterfell, and had problems adjusting, but she's basically fine with it now even though the northerners can get kind of tetchy about non-northerners. marrying ned was not in her life plans; she was arranged to marry his brother brandon, whom she knew, but brandon died and laws and shit dictated she marry ned instead. she also had problems adjusting to that. but she's fine with it now! they are happy together. her people, the tullys, are from a place called riverrun and are all about fish and questionable marital decisions. she is really into keeping her kids safe. so let's introduce the rest of them!

this is robb stark, oldest of the stark kids. in the books he's like 14, but in the show he's like 16. not that this stops him from looking 25. as heir to winterfell, he must be all serious and shit most of the time, but he loves his family and is fully prepared to be a fair and just ruler when his time comes. so, uh. do you know that spoiler? it's really hard to have heard of this show and not know that spoiler. but i won't say it here, because this is my blog and i play by my rules. anyway, robb. i don't have any particular feelings towards him. each chapter in the books is from a different character's perspective, but never him. i'm really not sure why.

this is sansa stark. in the books she's 12, but the show thankfully aged her up to 14, although this is still kind of problematic for reasons. it is hard to find pictures of her that do not look like her staring vapidly into the distance. but here's one where she's being totally badass:

i mean, it doesn't look like it, but trust me, totally badass

sansa is pretty traditionally feminine. she likes pretty clothes, stories about heroic knights saving beautiful women, embroidery, and optimistic portrayals of royalty. you would think this makes her kind of annoying. you would be wrong. a female character doesn't need to have physical strength to be a good character, and sansa is, like, the embodiment of that. she is my queen and anyone who complains about her will get side-eyed with great prejudice.

she also uh kind of has to deal with some shit that i should mention but i'll talk about that later

this is arya stark with a knife

this is arya stark with a practice sword

this is arya stark with a real sword

do you get the picture

arya is pretty much 100% better than you, there is figuratively no denying this. in the books she's 9, but here she's...i forget, actually. older than 9. she is not a traditionally feminine girl; she likes fighting, playing with her direwolf (did i mention all the stark kids get direwolves shit i forgot anyway they find direwolf puppies and the kids each get one because that's the family sigil), and not being a lady. ned gets her a dude to teach her swordfighting, and the dude also happens to teach her all this fancy shit like not needing physical strength and being quick and quiet and how to catch cats. she is tiny, but she is fierce! and she doesn't like it when people call her a boy, even though that is like 90% of the time after the first book/season.

this is bran stark. ain't he a cutie? in the books he's 7, but in the show he's 10. it is not a spoiler to say that at the end of the first episode something happens and he wakes up without the use of his legs. this is upsetting, but he powers through it. also maybe he can do stuff in his dreams? the show has not yet specified, but it's pretty obvious that he ain't normal. basically none of the stark kids are. i mean, for a variety of reasons, but there's a really non-normal one that is super-concentrated in bran. he is a character who is disabled but still does stuff and is not considered less of a person. woo!

this is rickon stark, aka "wait, there's another one?". in the books he's 3, in the show he's 6. thus far in the show he has done literally nothing. i barely even remembered he existed. he does more in the books, though. if you're only watching the show you don't really need to know much about him so far. moving on.

this is jon snow. in the books he's 14, in the show he's 16. he is ned's bastard son, so he doesn't get to be called "stark"; the people in westeros have varying last names for bastard kids, and the one in the north is snow. he's never met his mom, and neither has anyone else in his family except obviously ned. his siblings like him, but catelyn never did and bastards kind of get shafted, so he joins this group called the night's watch.

the night's watch is like a mini-army stationed on this place called the wall, which is a wall. a really, really, really big wall. it's made of ice and misery and theoretically is the only thing between "civilized" westeros and the freaky wild north. nothing much freaky has happened there in a really, really long time, though! gee, i wonder how much longer that will last

the night's watch is mostly made up of criminals who get a full pardon if they dedicate their lives to being cold and miserable. very few people actually want to go there. jon was not aware of this. but hey, he's defending the realm! and he can never see the rest of it. fun times!

here is a picture of jon, bran, robb, and background rickon being all buddy in winterfell. ah, happier times

here is a picture of the starks! but none for you jon snow bye

also he is the three-time winner of westeros' "poutiest lips" competition

every house in westeros has a sigil and a slogan ("words"), and house stark is:

see i told you it was cool

when jon is at the wall he becomes friends with this dude named samwell tarly

sam is not very good at a lot of things and was forced to join the watch by his father so he seriously does not even want to be there but he and jon become friends anyway. he's good with books! this does not help much. except for when it does.

there are lots of people besides the northerners, though, so let's get into those!

this is queen cersei lannister. i guess you could call her cersei baratheon, since she's robert baratheon's wife, but nobody ever thinks of her as a baratheon because being a lannister is like bred into your bones. your dickish, egotistical bones. the lannisters are big on being 1) the richest motherfuckers in the seven kingdoms, 2) part of the royal family via marriage, and 3) not very nice people. cersei, as queen, can pretty much do whatever she wants, or at least convince people to do it themselves. these are not always nice things. she loves her children a whole lot, does not really love her husband all that much, outright dislikes her dad and younger brother, and her twin brother...well. like. you've probably heard about this.

this is her and jaime. not pictured: their inability to keep out of each other's pants. i mean, cersei doesn't wear pants, but still. you get my point.

cersei gets a lot of shit from the audience, because she is not a very nice person and kind of the villain most of the time. she would be perfectly happy to see all the starks dead, and tbh probably a lot of the rest of the world too. she just wants her family to be happy and powerful! and there are people who do not want that! it is just that the people who do not want that tend to be much more likable than she is. the show does a better job of making her a layered character; in the books she is just kind of evil, but in the show they make it pretty clear that everything she does is for her children.

here's more jaime:

it is difficult to find a screencap that adequately portrays his level of sass

jaime is kind of a weird character. like, we are told that he is super-crazy about cersei, and to a certain extent this is shown? but really only in the beginning? once he is separated from her, they no longer seem like the One Person In Two Bodies that cersei's inner monologue indicates they are. a lot of the time i get the impression he just wants to be left alone to kill people and grudgingly protect the realm. he's not really a villain, either; he is known as the kingslayer, because he was the one to actually kill mad king aerys. people kind of look down on him for this, because he is a member of the king's guard and as such should be loyal to the king at all times, even when the king is completely fucking psycho. so he's done good stuff! he's just also kind of a jerk most of the time. the only person he really cares about is cersei and it's totally going to stay that way forever right? right?

cersei and jaime have a little brother!

this is tyrion. it's not hard to find screencaps that adequately portray his level of sass.

tyrion's birth killed mama lannister, which has not endeared him to the rest of them. he likes books, knowing shit, alcohol, and whores. he's also a sassy little motherfucker, which is his only line of defense. of the lannisters, he is generally shown as the least evil, or at least the audience sympathizes with him more. sometimes it's hard to remember that he's technically one of the bad guys. he doesn't hate any of the other houses, even. he's also usually the smartest person in the room, but that does not always help much.

isn't that a nice promotional picture? such a happy family

there are some royal children!

this is joffrey, twelve-time winner of westeros' "most punchable face" competition. there is literally no one in the world who likes him. well, cersei and maybe his siblings. but in our world, he is one of the most reviled fictional characters of all time. there are good reasons for that! they are pretty spoilery, though.

also there are myrcella and tommen, aka "wait, there are others besides joffrey?".

in the show, they have not done much. they do later in the books, so presumably they will later in the show, too. but right now, they are not very important. moving on.

this is tywin lannister, aka "arguably-evil daddy warbucks". he doesn't really like his children. they don't really like him. it's a family tradition. as the head of the lannisters (and their home, casterly rock), he has All Of The Gold and is not afraid to mention this. he has a lot of experience with war, and also with being a hardass. a hardass who gets things done! but a hardass. nobody in-universe likes him, really. he's okay with that.

check out dat lion. people usually associate them with the phrase "a lannister always pays his debts", though. because they do! they have a lot of money and they like to make sure anyone who helps them gets a fair reward. so they have that going for them, at least.

but where's this king we keep hearing about?

robert baratheon used to be a great warrior, back in the days of the rebellion. he's been king for a while now, though, so he's grown old and fat and he knows it. he still loves alcohol, beautiful women, and watching honorable violence, but he leaves most the kinging to his small council, and he's not really a happy guy any more. he and cersei have never really gotten along, but they're okay with that; it was an arranged marriage and seemed like the best option at the time. he has two brothers:

renly, who serves on the small council and is mostly known for liking cool clothes. well, and he can fight, but the books take special attention to point out that he likes clothes. and is not super-into his wife. and hangs out with this pretty dude called the knight of the flowers. who is known for being beloved by ladies but not super-into them. are you seeing where i am going with this. the books are actually pretty subtle about it, but the show doesn't give a fuck and thus:

bless you hbo

loras tyrell, the knight of the flowers, is really seriously great at jousting, is really loyal to renly, and is very pretty. that's basically all we get to know about him.

sansa is totally into him. oh, sansa.

robert and renly have another brother:

stannis! he is a serious dude. he doesn't show up until the second season/book. i initially didn't much care for him--dude is very serious--but in the books we get to see him from the perspective of his right-hand man, who is much more likable and as such gives us more of a reason to like stannis.

this is davos seaworth, the aforesaid right-hand man. he was a smuggler but then he saved the lives of a whole bunch of stannis' men plus stannis himself, so stannis pardoned him and made him a knight. not before cutting off parts of some of his fingers, though. stannis is a very serious dude. they are total bros now, though!

most of the time i just picture davos thinking "what did i do to deserve this"

yup, them's the baratheons. well, stannis has a wife and daughter, but the wife hasn't done much in the show and the daughter hasn't been in it at all yet.

so now we've covered the three big houses in the series, right? stark, lannister, and baratheon are the powerhouses. so far. gradually other houses start to do shit. but remember how i said not all the targaryens were killed?

presenting my queen daenerys stormborn targaryen. in the books she's 13, but in the show it's never specified, which is good for a variety of reasons. when she was not quite born, her mother and brother got the hell out of the seven kingdoms, what with their entire family being slaughtered and all. daenerys was born during a storm. d'ya get it? stormborn? anyhow stuff happened their mom died and she and her brother viserys are traveling around the free cities asking for help reclaiming their rightful throne. they aren't getting a lot. but then! a friend of theirs says he can get them an army if daenerys marries the guy in charge of it!

daenerys is not super-into this idea.

she goes along with it, though, because at this point she has literally no agency. i mean none. the girl does whatever her brother tells her to.

this is her brother viserys. it's okay to hate him. everyone else does. including her, soon enough.

it does not take all that long for daenerys to get really into the lifestyle of the dothraki, her new people. her husband khal drogo is very intimidating, but that gets better too!

daenerys is doing pretty okay. viserys is not. this is as it should be.

there is a dude from the seven kingdoms who acts as interpreter and general envoy between the targaryens and the dothraki:

ser jorah mormont (yeah they spell sir "ser" in westeros it's very edgy), a knight who was exiled by ned stark because he was selling some slaves, which is bad. granted, the slaves were poachers and he really needed the money, but law is law. he really wants to get home, so he's helping daenerys and viserys do the same.

he's also kind of in love with her, but who isn't, really

i'm not even being facetious about that later in the books there are like five different dudes who want to marry her it's kind of hilarious

daenerys becomes more and more hardcore as time goes by!

this is her eating a horse heart to prove how hardcore she is. could you do that? no. could the starks or the lannisters or the baratheons? probably also no. anyway, stuff happens. you may have seen this image:

well if you haven't you have now. it's pretty iconic. i mean, dragons! i won't spoil you as to how exactly this comes about. but dragons.

the targaryens are pretty big on dragons, as you may have guessed

now we have covered the main houses! so let's move on to the people who are not from those houses. let's begin with joffrey's personal bodyguard/person-who-kills-people, sandor clegane, who is usually just called the hound, partly because he wears a scary dog helm and partly because he is not the best at humanity

he's all burned and shit. he doesn't like to talk about it. his life is not all that great and he literally thinks of himself as an animal whose sole purpose is to kill on command which doesn't improve his mood much

he is pretty much 50% anger, 40% self-hatred, and 10% weird relationship with sansa

(context: joffrey just had one of his guards hit sansa for being too badass and sandor was all :| so hey handkerchief/rare moment of humanity)

their dynamic is kind of awkward and creepy and confusing and great. in the books, the creepiness is ramped up a notch, but in the show he's a little nicer (not that that means much). it would be kinda sweet, except he kills a lot of people and hates everything and is not generally a nice dude, even to her. certainly she isn't all that happy about the whole thing.

are we supposed to ship it? we just don't know

friendly reminder that in the books sansa is 12

also if you don't ship it don't google image their names together mine eyes have seen too much

besides renly, there are three other people on the small council!

lord varys is 1) a eunuch and 2) the person who basically knows everything about everyone, and is not afraid to mention this. he has lots of people all over the city who listen to everything and report back to him. this makes him useful, and fortunately his motivation is genuinely to help the realm, plus he's generally a pleasant dude, so he's not a villain. this is not strictly speaking true of this next guy.

lord petyr baelish, nicknamed "littlefinger" because he came from an area called the fingers and was a very small child, ha ha how droll. when he was a kid he was raised along with catelyn and catelyn's sister lysa, and he was really good friends with them! how good friends with them depends on who you ask. he was and still is pretty openly in love with catelyn, but she had to marry brandon stark and then ned stark, so things didn't really work out for him. it probably wouldn't have anyway, because in one scene catelyn refers to him as both "like a little brother" and "my good friend".

here's an easy test for if someone has a good understanding of human character: should you feel sorry for littlefinger, or not? if you say yes then you are wrong, because he is a lying liar who lies and doesn't care about anyone besides himself (well, maybe still catelyn) and actively fucks things up for people. i'm weirdly fond of him, though, partly because--like the hound--he has an interesting association with sansa. to whom he is ever so helpful. and my, did anyone ever tell you you look exactly like your mother when she was young?

yeah sansa has to deal with some shit

additional friendly reminder that in the books sansa is 12

here's another picture of littlefinger, because why not

and here is a picture of him in his natural habitat

but seriously, never feel sorry for the dude. he's a young Nice Guy who grew up and got powerful, and being an interesting character does not make him an excusable one.

the last dude on the small council is:

maester pycelle. maesters are these dudes who are kind of like doctors but also know a lot of general shit. they train in a place called the citadel and wear a necklace of chainlinks. each link represents a different thing they've learned. really old maesters have a shit-ton of chainlinks. there are other maesters in the show--winterfell has maester luwin, the wall has maester aemon, and possibly there are others i don't remember. maester pycelle is kind of a dick. i honestly forgot he was even on the small council. i'm really only mentioning him to explain maesters.

stannis has another friend! well, i say "friend"

this is melisandre. no one even knows what her deal is

she likes burning shit. sometimes including people! it's all in the name of r'hllor, the red god and lord of light, who was not all that popular in westeros for a long time but is gaining popularity because reasons. the north mostly worships "the old gods", who have no names or faces or rituals; basically what you do when you want to be religious in the north is to hang out by the nearest heart tree:

pretty! anyway you sit there and look at the little face that was carved in way long ago and you think deep thoughts. or you don't. the old gods really just do not give a fuck. there is maybe a reason they are not as popular in the south any more.

the other big religious thing is the seven gods, who are really common in westeros and get all the fancy churches and prayers and shit. well, "churches" = "septs", because seven. also priests are septons and nuns are septas. it is much more complicated than sitting by a tree. it's really popular, though.

that is the outside of a sept

that is a septon

but anyway my point is melisandre is a priestess of r'hllor and she is super big on spreading his word, and she has latched onto stannis as being the next big thing in terms of prophecy. she sees the future in her flames! sometimes. mostly she is enigmatic and creepy. davos doesn't like her. pretty much nobody who does not also actively worship r'hllor likes her. once the books start having chapters from her perspective, though, she becomes more likable. funny how that works.

there is a dude who lived with the starks! and by "lived with" i mean "was technically a hostage given by his dad to ensure peace but basically grew up there so considers the starks his family"

well

considered

this is theon greyjoy. i don't care for him. stuff that makes him sympathetic happens later, but i still don't care for him. he has a much cooler sister:

asha greyjoy! her family likes her better than him

she also likes her better than him

for some reason in the show her name is yara? like there is another character named osha but i'm pretty sure they never meet so i don't know why hbo thought it would be confusing

anyway i think of her as asha even though i saw the show first, it's better than yara

the greyjoys get points for having a cool sigil. they don't really show up beyond theon until the second season/book, and i am not terribly into them. asha is cool! none of the others are. cool kraken, though.

there are people who live beyond the wall, and people on the "civilized" side call them wildlings. they call themselves the free folk, because they don't believe in kings or bloodlines and are all about proving your ability yourself. naturally, the civilized people think that is really weird. trusting someone's own merits over who their great-grandad was whaaaa

one of these free people is a lady named ygritte!

well she wouldn't like being called a lady but

she and jon snow have a meet cute kinda

the night's watch and the wildlings kind of really hate each other so she is never having any of his shit and it's all kinda complicated but cuties

yes cuties

she doesn't show up until the second season/book though so don't wait up for her

this is shae

she's a whore! she's pretty okay with that. we don't know shit about her, which she is also pretty okay with.

she's not just a whore, she's tyrion's personal whore, but really she's basically his ladyfriend because she's totally into him regardless of the pay

i like her a lot! he likes her a lot! and that's all i'm gonna say about that

this is margaery tyrell:

she has not done much in the show yet, but will, because once she shows up in the books she is super-important. i have no idea how the fuck her name is pronounced. like marjorie? is it just a fancy alternate spelling? probably they've said it in the show and i've just forgotten because i haven't rewatched the second season yet. she is a complicated person and would benefit from having some pov chapters, but i am predisposed to like her because she is nice to sansa. in a happier universe they would totally be bff and commiserate about bad luck with dudes. although margaery's bad luck with dudes is not so much "psychologically scarring" and more "causes bad luck to dudes".

this is gendry:

he is the apprentice of an armorer! at first. he becomes totes friends with arya, and is paired with her, like, a lot. which is justifiable! they have a cool relationship, and he is a cool dude, although not a very happy one. he might be important, he might not, who knows? in any case he's all grubby and makes good armor and is probably legal, i'm just saying.

this is brienne of tarth and she is the actual best

she doesn't appear until the second season/book, boo

but when she does she is the actual best

she is really loyal to renly because he was basically the only person to be nice to her, ever

in the books people rag on her constantly about being ugly, but the show doesn't have that as much

besides, jaime doesn't think she's ugly!

wait no he does sorry should have mentioned that

also they hate each other and then they don't hate each other and they are my fucking otp and i will hear no different

i am not even kidding their weird friendship made jaime one of my favorites

she becomes literally the second other person ever who does not hate him and that's just kind of adorable

(the other is cersei and that's going pretty south by that point anyway)

that is the face of a man who is questioning his life choices

that is the face of a woman who does not give a fuck

there are other people in this series but they are either unimportant or i just didn't feel like mentioning them

who can blame me there are a lot of people in this fucking series

anyway you should at least totally watch the opening sequence, it's crazy-great (and where i got the pictures for king's landing, winterfell, and the wall)

in conclusion

this is a seriously great book series and a seriously great show and a staple of geek culture

the show currently has two seasons of ten episodes each, and the second season has just come out on dvd/blu-ray, just in time for the third season to premiere on march 31st

not gonna lie the books are fucking bricks you could kill a man with the hardcovers

there are five of them so far and well at least they'll keep you busy

until you finish the fifth and realize there are years and years between each book and book five was only released a year and a half ago

being an asoiaf fan is suffering

for a variety of reasons

but if you like great characters and interesting relationships and cool ladies and a story that sometimes makes you scream in a good way, game of thrones and a song of ice and fire are pretty dang great

fair warning though there are a lot of boobs (especially in the show, which likes to add random sex scenes because hbo) and if you have rape or sexual assault triggers this is definitely not the series for you. so far there's only been some dubcon for daenerys, but sansa's life becomes very unpleasant and there is background rape of extras all the time, plus rape is threatened a lot. also remember daenerys is 13ish and sansa is 12-14. i am not entirely certain george r r martin understands how young female sexuality works. but if you're not bothered by that, the series is pretty dang great! as i have been saying over and over

here is a bonus picture that i found

i have no idea what is going on

perhaps we'll never know

futuresoon @ 2013-03-04T14:01:00

2013-03-04T22:01:52Z

guess who has two thumbs and will be going to a special showing of the third season premiere of game of thrones ten days early

this girl

parental connections man they are pretty much the greatest thing

futuresoon @ 2013-02-20T11:53:00

2013-02-20T19:54:13Z

Oh hey LJ! I have not posted in...sixteen days? Oh my. Um, probably this is because I am very active over at my tumblr, so if you have a tumblr and are desperate to see my every thought and interest, that is probably the place to go! If you do not have a tumblr, within a few years you will be as those who still use usenet, clinging to the days you best loved and refuse to give up in favor of the new and different. Possibly I am exaggerating! I do indeed wish tumblr had some of the features that made LJ the fandom powerhouse that it was--threaded comments, multiple icons, a PM system that did not automatically remove messages after you send or reply to them, ~~a functional HTML editor~~. The fact remains that tumblr just feels more natural to me now, and judging by how dead my flist is, I am not the only one.

People have made some very interesting analyses about how tumblr differs from other social networking programs, and, for all its problems, I kind of love it there. Brief posts are easier, finding fanart is crazy easier, and you don't need metaquotes to run across random great posts from people you'd normally never see. There's much more of a sense of community there. One one hand, it's certainly not for everybody. On the other hand, while the updates are often frustrating, the creator has never publicly said he wants to get rid of the original userbase. So there's that!

Anyway! Beyond the proselytizing, what else have I been doing? Let's see. I'm getting further and further into A Song of Ice and Fire now; Sansa and Daenerys are pretty solidly my favorites, but I'm also loving Arya, Brienne, Tyrion...the series is pretty great, is what I am saying. Lots of ladies! Ladies who do stuff that is not necessarily for dudes! It doesn't pass the Bechdel Test much, and the general cultural treatment of ladies is not so good, but the ladies themselves are pretty great. (Plus there is an arc that is arguably about a lady sending a lady to save ladies from a lady. There are dudes involved, though. Still. Ladies.)

I was doing a liveblog of the appendices of The Lord of the Rings, but got waylaid by finding myself shoved into the Christoph Waltz fandom. Um? I mean, I'm not as in it as most of the fandom seems to be, but I liked Django Unchained and for some reason I don't recall I started watching this silly little 1979 show called Parole Chicago that starred baby Christoph Waltz, and I said some stuff about it, and suddenly lots of people started following me because of that so now I feel vaguely obligated to post things about him. He is an attractive dude! Django Unchained is a great movie and Parole Chicago is kind of seriously adorable! But I am not as into him as my followers think I am, and that is kind of disheartening. Ah well. He is an attractive dude.

I have been watching Elementary! I love it lots! Well, I do not really know the procedural parts of it, I have never been a fan of those. But Sherlock and Joan's interactions are A+, and the way they are handled in general are A+, and I'm not sure if I would say I like it more than Sherlock but I would definitely say I am lacking in that second of hesitation before admitting that I like it at all, which is something of a problem with me and Sherlock. "I don't care much for procedurals" is rather less of a problem than "I choose to focus on its good qualities rather than its genuinely, objectively, deeply uncomfortably ba--wait where are you going". Elementary's Sherlock is very different from the original stories, but so is BBC Sherlock, and saying that one set of differences is inherently better than the other just doesn't work for me. I like both shows for different reasons. One of the reasons I like Elementary is Joan Watson. Anyone who tries to convince me that I am wrong is not going to get anywhere.

What else? My job proceeds basically uneventfully. I'm just getting over a brief bout of stomach flu. And...that's basically it. Hello!

futuresoon @ 2013-02-04T13:10:00

2013-02-04T21:10:57Z

So hey, I am now an actual paid intern at an actual local small press! I get to read slush, which means that I am probably the first person to look at a given book and my opinion on it is what makes the important people look at it, so basically I am the secret master that controls the writer’s fate. I’ll try not to let the power go to my head. Try.

There is some irony to be had in this—I’m pretty sure I only got the position because of my experience with Clarion West. My four-year degree? Irrelevant. Six weeks of unaccredited education has officially done more for my career than four years of a fancy BFA.

I could sob about this. Or I could go eat sushi and read A Clash of Kings. Pretty sure I know which one I’m gonna do, given that I’m hungry.

futuresoon @ 2013-01-27T22:38:00

2013-01-28T06:38:03Z

I saw Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters! And this is what happens when you go in with zero expectations whatsoever: It was not a genuinely bad movie. There were no moments that made me cringe. It wasn’t anything special, but it didn’t need to be. It was a competently-put-together schlocky horror action flick. It does get points for passing the Bechdel Test, but given that literally every single villain is female and one of the leads is also female I would have been more impressed if it hadn’t. It did have some cool designs for the witches, though they were all blown away so quickly it was hard to get a good look at them. All in all, when it comes to movies I’ve watched because of Jeremy Renner, it’s miles better than Dahmer.

also now i want all the fic of gretel topping the hell out of hansel

all of it

everywhere

i mean i doubt there is any at this point but still i want it

futuresoon @ 2013-01-26T22:42:00

2013-01-27T06:42:57Z

Upon reflection, the only movies I’ve seen in theaters multiple times were all LOTR or The Hobbit. Big obsessiony things, basically. Otherwise I wouldn’t bother paying the exorbitant price of movie tickets an additional time. Because, you know, exorbitant. And really every extra viewing was so that I could watch it with different people; my parents, my friends, other friends, etc. Not just for the sake of seeing the movie again.

And then a couple days ago I realized I would be at the mall this evening with nothing to do (work reasons), and out of curiosity I checked the movie times, and.

Django Unchained is officially the first movie I have ever, after having already seen it with other people, gone to see again by myself.

I’m honestly not sure what to make of this.

Still a good movie, though.

~~and i still want all the ot3 in the world where is it i want it~~

futuresoon @ 2013-01-21T21:34:00

2013-01-22T05:34:44Z

GUYS GUYS I FOUND A SCHULTZ/DJANGO/BROOMHILDA FIC AND IT IS GLORIOUS

it has german-speaking and fluff and porn and also mentions the civil war which is like my deepest wish for fics with this pairing??? like i may actually kill a man to get a good long fic about these three dealing with the civil war i swear to god

the only thing that is not perfect about this fic is that it is short

small fandom problems man

futuresoon @ 2013-01-21T17:41:00

2013-01-22T01:41:32Z

Did I mention I was doing Teen Wolf Superbang? I am! Originally I was writing, but that crashed and burned, so I signed up as an artist instead. I got to illustrate The Word You See, by ladyblahblah, which is lovely all around. Under the cut are the two pieces I did; I recommend reading the fic first for context!

not gonna bother detangling this from tumblr speak it's late i don't care

2013-01-21T08:14:28Z

so today i saw django unchained and i just

where is all the ot3 i want all the ot3 fics art anything come on

i just want them all to be bounty hunters together and schultz and broomhilda can teach django german and django and broomhilda can continue to be the love story of the century but also with schultz

where is it i want it

also literally every time schultz said anything i was all KEEP TALKING I NEED TO DETERMINE THE EXACT NATURE OF YOUR ACCENT SAY EVERY SOUND I MUST PRESERVE IT IN MY HEAD and i just yeah his voice i

christoph waltz more like christoph waltz into my bed well really mostly your voice i guess the rest of you is also welcome but it’s mostly the voice

futuresoon @ 2013-01-20T00:29:00

2013-01-20T08:29:26Z

It’s been my birthday for 29 minutes now and I have just received the first notification that someone from high school wishes me happy birthday even though I have not spoken to them in years.

It begins.

futuresoon @ 2013-01-18T13:33:00

2013-01-18T21:33:33Z

Looks like I will have to go at least another week without a space bar. Fortunately the little thing that actually makes the space is still there, but pressing it instead of a bar takes longer. Ah well.

...not having had the inclination to write is totally justified now, right? Right.

futuresoon @ 2013-01-17T01:03:00

2013-01-17T09:03:57Z

well first of all my space bar broke and typing now goes very slowly

but before that happened i wrote a thing!

because on tumblr i made a post that got me thinking, and.

look here’s a hobbit/pokemon crossover set after the battle of the five armies what else were you expecting

Walking around the edges of Mirkwood was a fair sight easier than walking through it. Even being on friendly terms with the Elvenking would not change the dark, nor the creatures lurking therein; and besides Bilbo didn’t wish to take any of the same paths if he could. The thought of walking them with such a reduced company left a dull ache inside him. Past the forest the routes would have to be the same, yes, but for now at least he had the small comfort of unfamiliarity.

Ahead of him, Beorn’s booming voice was followed by a burst of low laughter from Gandalf. Beorn’s Ursaring gave an approving roar. Bilbo continued silently behind them, his pony clopping along at a slow, even pace. Perhaps an effort at cheer would rouse his spirits. It did not seem likely.

His Eevee curled into his lap atop the saddle. It made no more noise than he did.

The sun had dipped well below the horizon, and so they made camp. Not quite at the edge of the forest--none of them trusted that the creatures of Mirkwood would remain strictly within their borders come nighttime--but close enough for Bilbo to still see the great expanse of dark. Was he imagining the slight shaking in the branches of the trees, as if the giant Ariados were watching them? Most likely he was not. His Eevee hissed softly at the trees. Bilbo patted it in a half-hearted attempt to calm it down. He would always be thankful for having had the foresight to bring along a few herbal antidotes for the journey; without them, the poison in the attacks might have cost him his dearest friend.

A prelude, then.

In any case, Bilbo could not blame Eevee for being distrustful of even the slightest movement in the dark of Mirkwood. He himself would be forever leery of any bug-types he saw; and there were more than a few, in the gardens and farmlands of the Shire, most of them friendly and peaceable. There were a few Spinarak dwelling not far from Bag End. Bilbo did not relish the thought of dealing with them upon his return.

His eyes strayed to the fire set in the middle of their small camp. Fire, too--the hot roar of breath that had singed his hair and Eevee’s fur, and done far worse to the town below them…Bilbo found he did not care to look at it, either. Instead he stared across the ground. Beorn and Gandalf still spoke and laughed to each other; there must have been something to it, but Bilbo couldn’t bring himself to pay attention. They did not ask him to, which was a kindness. Bilbo was certain their merriment was an attempt to cover up their own melancholy.

He settled into his bedroll as best he could. His arms lay open for Eevee to crawl into them, as it often did, but it remained at his side instead, eyes still fixed on the forest.

“Are you expecting another attack?” Bilbo whispered. “We’re outside now. Besides, Ursaring is bigger than even they are. And Gandalf can at least make a flash bright enough to drive them away. There’s no need to worry.”

Eevee only made a small, soft noise. It briefly nudged its head against his; and then returned to its watch. Bilbo gave up and closed his eyes. There would be no convincing it, and besides, he needed his own rest. Inasmuch as he could have any, at least.

Bilbo dreamed of the roar of the battlefield. Metal clanged against metal; guttural cries filled the air; fangs ripped through flesh and fur. Poison sprayed through the wind. Dark and ugly things that might have been Pokémon, once. A world of endless noise and fear and anger crashed around him, dripping blood of so many types. And even after it was over, there was more blood to--

He awoke at the sound of a shriek. In an instant he fumbled for his sword, cursing that he couldn’t draw it faster, though he knew it would scarcely matter given the others in the party. Still, he pulled it out as soon as he could and rushed to his feet, looking all around to see what had happened.

A new terror sparked within him. He glanced down--Eevee was not there. Gandalf, Beorn, and Ursaring were on their feet, and they did not look as if they knew what was going on either. Beorn and Ursaring roared together. Gandalf’s staff glowed with a sharp and piercing light.

All their eyes turned to the edge of the forest. What else could there be?

Bilbo resisted the urge to run straight into it; he would likely not be of much use--but Eevee was gone and there had been a great noise in the forest, and of course the two were connected. What else should he do?

The question was answered for him, and neatly at that, when a small figure emerged from Mirkwood. Not an Ariados, or any sort of creature that had attacked them; no, only a small, rare thing, elegant in its steps. Its ears and tail rustled as it moved. There was no question as to what it was, or from where it had came.

Bilbo dropped his sword and walked towards it in a daze. It butted its head against his ankle. He kneeled down to pat it. Its fur was just as smooth and soft, though its ears were of the rougher, harder texture that gave it its new name.

“Leafeon,” Bilbo murmured. It purred in assent.

Bilbo sat down. Leafeon jumped into his lap and licked at its side. Was it injured? Bilbo ran his fingers across to check; it hissed at him in a not angry way, and yes, there was a scratch, though not a deep one and certainly not a poisoned one.

Leafeon mewled and nudged its head in the direction of the forest. Bilbo sat up, lifting it in his arms as he did so, and moved closer--not far past the edge lay the unconscious body of an Ariados. Not a small one, either. Leafeon slid itself up onto his shoulders and around his neck, purring contentedly.

Bilbo had to laugh. “You’ve learned a thing or two, in your time here,” he told it. It made a happy sound against his neck. He reached up to stroke it.

“You’ve gone and changed while I wasn’t expecting it,” Bilbo whispered. “I suppose turnabout is fair play.” Leafeon licked at his fingers.

“Now there’s a sight to see,” Gandalf said from behind them. Bilbo turned to face him. His face bore a far realer smile than it had in some time. “I’ve seen a few in my time, but always with the elves. I expect no one in the Shire will even recognize it.”

“Eevee generally stay Eevee, there,” Bilbo said. “The stones only ever come through traders, and there’s little battle experience to be had.” Of course Eevee--Leafeon--had seen rather more of that, of late.

“Bilbo Baggins, you are already a rare sort of person,” Gandalf said. Bilbo thought of protesting, but--no, coming on the journey in the first place had proven him to be uncommon. Certainly by now, after everything, he was far beyond that. “I see no reason your companion should be any different.”

Leafeon purred loudly. Bilbo laughed, again, and scratched it under its chin. It made an approving sound.

The journey back would still be long, and none of the reasons for his melancholy would have changed. But it seemed easier, now, knowing that he was not the only one who was coming back forever changed.

futuresoon @ 2013-01-15T23:51:00

2013-01-16T07:51:08Z

Oh so I have a Hobbit fic rec!

Shield Me is a bunch of sequential long-drabble-prompts that roughly retell everything that happens post-Eagles (i.e., the next two movies). It has led me to the conclusion that I actually prefer Thorin/Bilbo as preslash, or at least as a slow build that is then affected by however the author chooses to end the story. Which is done very well, in this case. The titles of the individual sections are a bit inaccurately cheesy, but the fic itself is excellent and babbies. Just. Babbies.

futuresoon @ 2013-01-12T14:52:00

2013-01-12T22:52:55Z

A thing I have now experienced, upon catching an Audino that did not know Pound and leveling it against an Audino who also did not know Pound: a literal slapfight.

Seriously. Endless Double-Slaps all the way. Eventually I had to pull out and use my slightly-higher-level Audino who had been raised earlier and thus still knew Pound.

Yeah, I’m doing a run of Black 2 with four Audino, what you gonna do about it.

futuresoon @ 2013-01-08T11:52:00

2013-01-08T19:52:47Z

Awww, lady_peony, the gingerbread man v-gift is adorable, thank you! ♥ Today is clearly a good day.

futuresoon @ 2013-01-08T10:29:00

2013-01-08T18:29:57Z

Thing that is great: NEW POKEMON GAME IN OCTOBER JESUS CHRIST IT WILL HAVE BEEN LITERALLY ONLY A YEAR SINCE THE LAST ONE CAME OUT WHAT WIZARDRY HAVE THEY DISCOVERED

Thing that is not as great: It's 3DS-only, so I'll have to finally give in and buy one. This does continue my trend of only buying new systems for Pokemon, though, so it's not a new problem. Seriously, I first got my Gameboy Color entirely because I loved the cards and thought a whole video game of them would be the second coming of Christ. Then Advance XP, then DS, and now 3DS, all for one franchise. Ah well. At least it'll be cheaper now.

But seriously, how the hell can they announce a new game only a few months after the current one has even been released? WIZARDRY, I SWEAR TO GOD.

futuresoon @ 2013-01-07T22:45:00

2013-01-08T06:45:18Z

Hey, Merlin and Supernatural peeps! I won't be making the three-straight-minutes-of-character-death vid for a while due to reasons, but I still want to scrounge up the source material I need, and I have come to the conclusion that a multifandom character death vid would be woefully incomplete without those shows, regardless of my own apathy towards them. So! What are the episodes that kill people who could be considered young? I know for sure the series finale of Merlin and 'No Rest for the Wicked', but for Merlin I have no idea who else is important and my memories of SPN past the first three seasons are fuzzy. (I think I watched through season six? And then some of seven, maybe? But the first three are the ones I know best.)

For the record, here are the other things I am using (if you don't know people die or appear to die in these then I wonder where you have been in the last decade) :

Doctor Who
Sherlock
The Lord of the Rings
Game of Thrones
The Hunger Games
Harry Potter
Torchwood
The Avengers

Other suggestions are always appreciated.